I did well in school. I loved it. I miss it now. The learning, the interacting with new ideas and people. I had great teachers and got good grades. Lots of "Is a pleasure to have in class" and "Positive Influence on others" and so on. But there was one comment that showed up periodically all throughout my education. I thought I was over it until I started to see it pop up on my kid's report cards, even my ridiculously intelligent and conscientious child's report card.
"Needs to participate more".
I hate that comment.
It may be appropriate to use on some kids report cards. Maybe. But let me defend those who, such as myself and now my introvert kids, have unfairly received it. Those of us who took school seriously and really generally gave it our best, most conscientious effort. If I could write a letter to those teachers it would go something like this.
Mrs./Mr. Teacher who used that comment on me,
You have taught hundreds, perhaps thousands of students in your career. God bless you. I loved your class! But I didn't understand the "needs to participate more" comment on my report card. You may have mistaken my silence for a lack of listening or interacting with your material. It was not that. I was in fact, constantly interacting with what you said or wrote. For the sake of argument, out of every hour you taught I may have missed 5 minutes of what you said while distracted by something another student did, but the other 95% was focused on your teaching. I was asking myself if I agreed with what you stated. Where you got that information. What I thought about it. What I would do with that new piece of info. I didn't raise my hand a lot. I needed time to process what you said. I found I did that best in a written assignment rather than a class discussion. But I wish you could have seen my mind or heard my conversations later with friends and family. My mind was busy processing, making connections to other ideas, and forming theories. Honestly, I'm probably one of the top listeners and "interacters" with your material who has ever sat in your class. Sometimes I tried to acquiesce, so I'd raise my hand and say something just so you couldn't put that comment on my next report card. I literally faked questions that I already knew the answer to just to meet your requirement. I wish you'd just valued the kind of learner that I was, and allowed the more verbal students to carry the class discussions. I wish you'd seen my lack of verbal participation as just part of my personality, as I've come to learn it just is. I never refused to answer if you called on me specifically, well unless it was 8th grade Geometry. That class made 0 sense to me. But I was always willing to answer, it just wasn't, and still isn't, in my nature to willingly volunteer my answers/opinions. But I'm generally happy to give them when asked. I'm also very happy to share when I do have a strong opinion that I've thought through. I love to share then! I'm just not a fan of sharing my half baked ideas in front of a group. I only do that with a select few. I value people's time and show that by only speaking when I have something useful or beneficial to say. Anyway, I hope you know how much I loved your class and deeply appreciate the time and effort you put in to educating students! And I hope you don't mistake quiet for a lack of participation again. Believe me when I say, we introverts are always listening and participating, just quietly.
Respectfully,
Rosalind Fuiten Gorc
So what do you think?
